Revolution Will Be Cycle-ised
| Saturday 1 May, 2004 |
TEN years of once a month liberating pedal power.
TEN years of confusing tourists and causing cabbies to complain to the cops, with the customary reply of: 'On yer bike.'
Happy Tenth Birthday Critical Mass London.
The celebrations under Waterloo Bridge prior to the ride showcased the first Must Have summer accessory of the season; CM football top style T-shirts with the number 10 and the legend CRITICAL emblazoned on the back.
'Back of the net!,' as Mr Partridge might say.
There's Mayoral votes on them there bikes; witness the appearance Deputy Mayor Jenny Jones doing her best meeeja mouthpiece meet 'n greet. Nice to have you on board JJ, but don’t forget that Critical Mass in a MONTHLY get together, TV cameras or no TV cameras.
 Never mind the length, feel the thickness |
Adding their own take on Critical Mass was the Weapons of Mass Vibration soundsytem: MC Carpet Face riding on the back of a rickshaw with some fine rhyme and verse entertaining the crowds and bemused bystanders.
After the customary 'Terry meets Julie every Friday night' Waterloo Bridge moment, the Mass made for Covent Garden, navigating the narrow streets and putting a smile on the face of late evening shoppers. The sheers size of the mass caused the first spilt with the more perky peddlers having to wait at Leicester Square as the volume of two wheeled wonders made their way through WC2.
An impromptu jam broke out Trafalgar Square and then on to Whitehall. I doubt if Mr Tony was actually in at No 10 (the lights were on, but no one was at home etc...) but I defy anyone to find more fun on a Friday evening than to de-camp outside the PM's gaff and wave the beast between your legs up in his face.
A brief sojourn through SW1 and Buckingham Palace was ours for the taking. Well, 'taking' in the sense of a couple of circuits around the Victoria Memorial and random remarks flying the flag for Republicanism.
The Soapbox soundsystem told us all that we could 'take the mic' if we had a message to put across. This was rather apt seeing as though Carpet Face had been taking the piss, with great effect, broadcasting to Brenda and her brethren about their 'reptile' features.
On to Hyde Park corner where a prick of a petrol head was told by our friendly Bobbies on bikes to 'take his hand off the horn otherwise you will be spending a night in the cells.' Sweet.
The first mobile soundclash on a bike broke out at Marble Arch as the Mass started to grow further still in length as we picked up a number of West End Girls on route who hailed down a rickshaw.
Back to the West End for some traditional Piccadilly posturing (why break a ten year habit?), with one good-humoured commuter praising the protest, but asking us politely to move on as he had to get back to Portsmouth.
At 9.5 miles (thank heavens for Argos and their cheapo on board 'computers'), this was far from the longest Mass over the past ten years; never mind the length, feel the thickness though, and boy, this was one hell of an orgasmic ride, baby.
(click on thumbs to see large image)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
critical mass london
